Corinne's 2007 Egypt trip. Page 2

... and the saucy adventures continue unabashed...

Belly dancing under the palm trees.

I had dinner outside as the temperature by this time was really pleasant, around 26 degrees. It was a BBQ with belly dancing and of course I ended up being selected by the bellydancer to dance with her ! When I'd finished everyone clapped extra loudly ! Here is a picture of the palm tree. So as not to offend my dear readers I haven't published a photo of me with the bellydancer. I mean, this IS supposed to be a "clean" site, suitable for the general public.

Next day I arose at 05.30, just for a change, feeling relatively refreshed after a night with the a/c on full blast. I dressed in a white t-shirt and skin tight shorts and heavy climbing boots, had a quick breakfast then took the hotel shuttle boat at 07.00 along the Nile to Luxor. No sooner had I stepped off the boat than I was grabbed by a "guide" and taken across the Nile to the other side for £ 5.

Me and my guide, Zidane, and his pot belly.

Zidane was a rotund middle aged man dressed in a brown robe, shiny black city shoes and Egyptian pound signs in place of his irises. He enquired what I was intending to do and I replied that I wanted to take a donkey to the Valley of the Kings. He asked how much I wanted to pay so I replied "not much". He proposed £ 300, I said no way and that I was going to walk. He could see I was dressed for a hike so the price came down to £ 200. I said £ 100, a proposal which brought on considerable angry surprise and indignation on his part. He said £ 180, I said £ 120 and we ended up at £ 150 ( € 20) for 2 donkeys. Tedious this bartering innit ? So time consuming... why can't they just staple a price tag to the donkey's ear ?

A wizened old lady in a black shawl, passing by with her donkey and minding her own business, was forcibly relieved of it for what was presumably an appropriate fee, and we had to sit and wait for the other one to be rustled up by a boy. In the meantime the chat up started. I learned, to my surprise, that I was a very beautiful woman with a great body. I was asked if I was married, to which I replied "yes". A girl in my precarious position doesn't answer negatively to that question unless she wants a great deal of trouble. Nevertheless Zidane kept trying to touch my thigh . Eventually the second donkey arrived and we set off.

We rode up the main road which soon left the town and entered the desert, stopping at the base of the 300 metre mountain. There wasn't a single bit of vegetation from here on - just rock, sand and a scorching sun. It was the kind of inhospitable landscape in which you expect to see thirst-crazed survivors of some plane crash stumbling after a mirage as squadrons of vultures circle above their heads. I suppose one could have likened Zidane to a circling vulture, but that wouldn't be a terribly nice allusion would it ? Anyway he would never have got airborne if he HAD been a bird... not with that enormous pot belly of is. It was getting really hot by now even though it was still relatively early in the morning. I was very uncomfortable on my beast of burden and kept sliding off one side or the other, and all the time Zidane kept fingering me so I had to use one hand to fend him off. The game seemed to be that he forced me to push his hand away then grabbed my hand and tried to place it on his erection. How very tedious. Being a girl with considerable experience in avoiding mens' advances I fortunately managed to avoid doing what he wanted.

Into the Valley of the Kings rode the Miss with the Most.

As we climbed up it became quite impossible to stay on the donkey, sliding precariously one side or the other, while fending off Zidane and his WHT (which every girl knows means "wandering hand trouble") so I dismounted (a posh, horseycultural word for slipping off and falling flat on my face) and walked while holding the donkey. I was quite happy with this arrangement because it allowed me to get some exercise, but Zidane kept exhorting me to get back on the donkey. He was embarrassed that he, the guide, was riding while I, the female client, was walking ! I laughingly thought to myself that he would start getting very insistant as we approached the police post at the pass, which he did. The police laughed at us, or, presumably him.

Since the descent on the other side was too steep for the donkeys, I left him with them and a bottle of water to keep him from dying while I was away and hiked down into the Valley of the Kings. It was about a 200 metre vertical drop and it got hotter as I descended, reaching around 40°, with absolutely no wind. I had to go to the entrance to buy the ticket which gives admission to 3 tombs. and took refuge for a while in the air-conditioned visitors' centre . First I visited the tomb of Ramses IV. I made the mistake of filming inside the tomb for 20 seconds and a very aggressive guard in a dirty robe grabbed my camera, shouting something unintelligible and spraying me with spittle from his toothless mouth. I refused to let go and told him to leave me alone. He looked quite crazy. Meanwhile all the other tourists evaporated fearfully. I tried gently stepping on his foot with my hefty boot, not wanting to crush his toes all the same, but he only let go when I twisted his fingers backwards. I think he'll think twice in future before aggressing a big girl like me. I told him he was a very nasty man indeed and left for the next tomb, that of Ramses IX. Clearly a lot of the Ramses family kicked the bucket in this valley...

Out of the Valley of the Kings climbed the Miss with the Most...

Having had a sufficient cultural education to last me several years, I climbed back up to the pass (to the left and off the picture, behind me). It was quite knackering ! Things weren't helped by that idiot Zidane who kept shouting down to me to go left instead of right, the latter being the same way I had descended. Against my instincts I followed his instructions, assuming he knew something I didn't (maybe there was a leper colony which needed circumventing ?), and was awarded with a path so steep and crumbly that I had great difficulty in not slipping and falling to join the remains of the Ramses family. When I arrived, severely overheated and gasping for breath, I asked him why he'd insisted I go that way and he replied that it was quicker. It had never occurred to the fool that a frail girl, climbing in a 40° temperature on a crumbly path, might prefer to take a less steep route. He had just wanted to get out of there and back to his comforts of life as quickly as he could.

We began the descent towards the Nile and I continued having to endure his touches. At one point I asked him to film me and had to shout "Stop !" as, looking though the lens, he took a couple of steps backward and almost went over the precipice, shiny black town shoes and all, to smash himself into the Temple of Hatshepsut a couple of hundred metres below. Old Hatty, being a Pharaoh-esse, would no doubt have found that a very fitting end for one of her lecherous countrymen. I joked that I could have saved £ 150 but didn't want to lose my camera. At the Nile I was very happy to dismount and take the boat directly back to the hotel where I spent the afternoon by the pool.

A BBQ in my prettiest dress.

In the evening I ate a hearty meal outside at the BBQ restaurant. The cook, a cheerful young man with hamster-like cheeks, seemed to have fallen in love with me.

Me and my cook.

I ended up stuffing myself on lamb kofta as the little cook kept plying me with the freshly grilled hot stuff while leaving the older congealed ones for the other guests.

An after dinner stroll in my high heel sandals.

After dinner I walked down to the jetty and stood in the warm night watching the waters of the Nile flowing past on their way north to Alexandria and the Mediterranean. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to take a cruise in one of the big boats ? Well, it was bed time and I went to join my teddy bear Moo and drift off to sleep in my grass hut.

A kiss for a camel.

However there was to be no rest for this adventurous chick and I got up next morning at 05.30 as I had a lot to do. First was a short visit to the hotel zoo where I stroked a baby camel ! There was also a crocodile but it was having an off day as it just remained submerged the whole time. Since there was a sturdy fence and some zoo employees nearby, I couldn't tempt it to move by dangling my toes in the water... which I would surely have done given half the chance !