Aikchol Hospital : 4th day after the operation
Corinne's Sex ChangePage 4 |
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| Sunday 5 september. This morning part of the bandages surrounding my new pussy were removed. I still can't see much of it but it doesn't look at all gory as one might have expected. I'm starting to get really fed up with being in bed and am suffering from a sore back. We chat, watch telly (BBC news as well as the Natural History channel which unfortunately is in Thai ! ). I read my book and some magazines and look forward to tomorrow when I can get up and have a shower. Anny has already run up a phone bill of € 800 ! It's hardly surprising as she spends a lot of time on her mobile. I was telling her how disappointed I was that no-one had called me or sent me flowers when my little sister Sophie called to ask how her big sister was ! I was so happy. The office haven't bothered to call me which I think is a bit of a disgrace. I also reflected that, if my ex-wife had been undergoing a major operation far from home and alone, I would have sent her some flowers despite the divorce. I really miss my litle girl and the total lack of contact with her. I feel a bit abandoned and lonely. |
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| Monday 6 september. Today I had all the external bandages removed from my new pussy by Wannee, and part of the internal ones by Dr. Suporn. No pain whatsoever thank goodness. I had been very scared as I've read on the internet that this stage can be excruciatingly painful. Dr. Suporn is painstakingly careful. Then, with a mirror, I took my first look ! It looked quite nice (I have no idea how this can be true just 5 days after being carved up, but it IS true. I even have feeling at the clitoris. The doctor said it was healing nicely and was dry. And then... I was able to take a hot shower with the assistance of a nurse, while sitting on an inner tube on a chair. What a pleasure ! Then she applied betadine and I sat for a while at the table, not dizzy but with weak legs. Anny had her breasts uncovered and was totally delighted with the result. She has bruising which I don't. I'm now allowed to go back to eating Thai food which is immensely better than the stuff on the European menu. It's curious being in an all-female environment and having no hang ups about being totally nude in front of the nurses. I'm a girl and have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Still no pain down below but massaging the tits is not fun, but bearable. I did a French manicure on my nails which the nurses thought highly amusing. They cannot believe the length of my nails ! Slept like a log. |
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Tuesday 7 september. There are no photos during this period as I looked too bloody awful ! Took a shower all by myself. Anny had her external bandaging removed but was a bit disappointed with her pussy as the labia are half a long as they should be - due no doubt to the lack of tissue available. My big sister Zaza phoned from California which was really nice. I spent the day writing up my diary, editing my Bangkok photos and wandering around the room dragging my urine bag behind me with bloody urine dripping down my legs from time to time. I'd love to do my make up to feel normal but there's absolutely no point. Anny is eating an enormous amount of junk food - Macdonald's hamburgers, cake, coca cola and so on. I told her she should be careful but she got annoyed with me ! I'm still not very hungry but enjoy nibbling the Thai food and rice. It's so cold in the room because Anny needs the a/c on all the time whereas I'd rather switch it off and have the window open during the day. But we have remarkaby little friction between us. The clinic staff visit us regularly, always very cheerful. My favourite is Panita who came to massage my breasts. She's so cute I could fall in love with her. No visits at all from the other TS girls on the 8th floor - curious. My strength is finally showing signs of coming back and Dr. Suporn and Wannee are of the opinion that my body mends quickly ( as was indeed the case with my FFS). The hospital staff are all very sweet, although their English is virtually non-existent. But they are all smiles and willing to help. I wonder how my baby is. From my bed I can see the sea, some posh houses and the very nondescript town. I'm waiting for a good storm to come at night. It's the beginning of the monsoon season so we should get some soon. I really wish I could read my e-mails but my computer's modem is bust and I'm not yet allowed to go downstairs where there is an internet room. Still no news from anyone at work. Or from my father. I feel rather abandoned and would have liked some flowers or phone calls. Anny receives both. Oh well. |
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Wednesday 8 september. Today I would normally have left the hospital to go back to the Mercure Hotel but prefer to stay until Anny checks out on friday in case she needs any translation. This is a day of considerable emotion and stress for me : Dr. Suporn removed what seemed like several metres of packing inside my pussy, all bloody and horrible. Many girls have said that this was the most painful moment of their SRS but I honestly didn't feel a thing ! My pussy was rinsed several times with a big syringe full of water then with betadine solution. He was pleased with the results, as indeed, was I. The urine catheter also came away with no pain then I had a monstrous looking dilator inserted, again painlessly, and he informed me the depth was 7 1/4 inches. They took some photos with a ruler to prove it. I was supposed to lie there for 2 hours but felt an increasing need to pee so had to call the nurse to remove it after 1 hour 40 minutes, rushed to the loo and actually managed to pee, even if it was ony a trickle ! Another milestone passed. Everything seems to have gone like clockwork and my guardian angel must be working overtime ! Anny took her first shower with a great deal of pleasure but was pissed off at the amont of hair she lost due to entanglement. She was quite knocked out and slept afterwards. I fear my tits are too big but will reserve judgement when the swelling has subsided. I am now disconnected from the IV drip and the urine catheter and free to move around which is a big big relief. Tomorrow I think the whole sex change thing will hit me once I can do my make up and look a bit more feminine again. I'm worried about Anny though as she seems to have got considerably fatter during her week in bed. I have lost weight but am bloated and hope the laxative they've given me at lunchtime wil sort that out. Managed a second pee much to my delight but it's still only a slow trickle and difficult to empty the bladder. The third pee was similar then I reinserted the dilator and Wannee realised my bladder had not been emptied because after an hour I felt like exploding. She phoned the doc and re-inserted the catheter and I drained 900 cc. of urine immediately. What a relief ! I slept for the rest of the dilation, and was woken by a call on Anny's mobile from Janna who announced herself to Anny as "la maman-collègue de Corinne" ! That was sweet of her. She was very concerned for my wellbeing and said that they had received the message I had sent via Anny's sister to my company in Geneva. I'm so tired, and have a very sore bit on my pussy. I Wrote a postcard to my daughter, my father and some friends as well as one to the office. My constipation finally came to an end today ! Talk about losing weight ! A word about the dilations : for the next 6 months I would be obliged to spend 2 hours twice a day flat on my back with a dilator inside me to prevent my pussy from closing up. This is extremely important as lost depth can never be regained. It was to become a very painful experience for several weeks and really difficult to continue to do with my professional obligations. |
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Thursday 9 september. I had a bit of a burning sensation from a particular point on my labia minora which kept me awake a while. The doc says it just swelling but I suspect its the end of a stitch which is digging into me. Dilated but couldn't go the last inch which is a bit worrying. It hurt to dilate today (the very end bit). Then I had to spend half an hour cleaning the wound (3 injections of bottled water then one of a betadine 5% solution... which makes a mess - I don't know how I'm going to manage at the office), then apply betadine, followed by some antiseptic cream. Felt utterly exhausted after it. Ate a half bowl of steamed rice as my appetite has evaporated. The food all tastes the same. Doctor Suporn says my breasts each have 100 cc. of liquid in them which he'll remove on monday - that's good news because I had become convinced they were far too big. Dilation hurts, breast massage hurts, moving around hurts. It's a gynaecological nightmare with pain, discomfort and bloody urine dripping down my legs, making stains on the bed and the floor. Gasp. In the evening I found the reason for the soreness in my left labia... the catheter is rubbing on it. I'm bored in hospital but don't have the energy to make up and visit the other girls. The telly (BBC) is full of one disaster after another : 330 dead in a terrorist attack on a school in Beslam, South Ossetia, Russia, a hurricane in the Carribean, a typhoon in Japan, a car bomb in Bali outside the Australian Embassy. My usual good spirits are starting to wane... as are Anny's. |
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Friday 10 september. Check out day from the hospital. I'm feeling totally exhausted but nevertheless managed to get up at 07.00 and do my make up before the doc arrived. The nurses seemed flabbergasted by my change of look and they told Wannee to say I was beautiful ! That's so sweet of them. Anny had her internal bandages removed and her catheter. The lucky thing was able to pee correctly. Her depth was announced to be 7 inches ! So she's pleased although she doesn't like the look of her labia which are too short. I had a very strange and moving dream last night : I was in a hospital in England, more precisely at Halton, where I was born, and was sleeping after my operation. A girl slid into bed beside me and I sensed it was my ex-wife. I asked "It's you ?" and she said "yes" and crossed her left leg over me. I was flushed with a sensation of warmth and love, opened my eyes and saw my daughter was also with us. What a lovely dream. We left the hospital at midday on wheelchairs and Wannee took us to the Mercure Hotel. I went straight to bed and slept while Anny watched telly. She has far more strength than me at the moment, despite having been operated on two days later. Did my dilation at 17.30 then we went, or staggered more like, to the Japanese restaurant. The manager, a Frenchman called Rémy, came over to say hello as he heard us speaking French. Anny went to smoke in the loo on the ground floor while I went up to our room, 429, and bumped into Helen and her friend who are in the room opposite. Helen also had big problems with urinating but is ok now. Took a shower and literally collapsed into bed. Our days seem to consist of dilations, disinfecting and sleeping. My dilations are so painful now that I have developed an almost morbid fear of them. Despite the pain killers I literally cry out with pain and watch the clock ticking slowly towards the end of the 2 hours. |
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Saturday 11 september. I woke up and had to head for the loo with diarrhea. Then I just put on some eye-liner, no other make up, my mauve t-shirt, purple flowery knee skirt (which I'm finally able to wear without showing a bulge at the front !) and flip flops. Anny was still sleeping so I went to breakfast and had muesli and coffee. I was feeling more energetic than at any time since the op. Then I spent an hour and a half on the internet and sent a long mail to my sisters (who hadn't written to me apart from "Well how's it going ?" Nothing from anyone at the office. What is the matter with all these people ? I'm going through something really drastic and no-one seems to care. Wrote a long mail to Janna, telling her to give my news to anyone who might be interested if she actually succeeds in finding someone that is. Wannee was waiting for me at the lift (I wonder if she suspected me of smoking ?) and checked me over. We have to go to the clinic at 09.00 on monday. That is bound to be an unpleasant experience with the fluid being drained off from my tits, and maybe stitches removed from my pussy. And of course the uncertainty about whether I'll be able to pee without the catheter. We dilated then called room service for lunch. I ate a fresh salad while Annie ate a cheeseburger and chips, leaving the salad ! It makes my stomach churn just thinking of that junk food. We were both totally exhausted after that and slept most of the afternoon. I got up with more diarrhea at 17.00, pleased my bowels are starting to work again. Then more dilation. It's all so time consuming and exhausting. I tried to go to eat at the resto, got as far as the door of the room then almost fainted, retired to bed with no supper. I feel so weak. Anny and I both cried, holding hands between the beds - she because she missed her boyfriend, me because I missed my little girl, my dog Tanya, even my ex-wife. Is this the low point we've reached ? |
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